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Home / Q&A / Q&A: Death and Dying in the Modern Age- Rubyrose Hill
Q&A: Death and Dying in the Modern Age- Rubyrose Hill

Q&A: Death and Dying in the Modern Age- Rubyrose Hill

Rubyrose Hill

Actor/Assistant to the Funeral Director at Sparrow

NYC

How old do you want to live to be?

Old enough that I feel like I haven’t missed out on anything and I’ve done every single bucket list thing humanly possible. 

Do you have a fantasy funeral?

I just came up with this right now. I document essentially everything I do in my life so I feel like it would be cool to have projectors or screens on all the walls playing videos I’ve taken of myself over the years. But not like a sad slideshow it would be a huge compilation of videos all playing at once. And then, when the service is going to start, all of the videos will fade into huge beautiful white clouds so everyone feels like they’re in heaven and the sound from the videos will fade into a song. I don’t know what song yet but something awesome. And everyone has to wear all white. Everything will be white and light and really beautiful. There will probably be candy for people to eat their feelings. Also, I want prayer cards but on one side there’s a picture of me looking like the best version of myself and on the other side instead of a prayer there will be a quote that I have said. This sounds so fun I wish I could be there! 

What scares you the most about dying?

Literally everything I can barely think about it. I’m scared of not knowing what will happen. My acting teacher always says that if the unknown was really unknown we wouldn’t fear it. But, because there is a void, we fill it with our own fears so the unknown isn’t really that unknown it’s just our projections of what could happen. 

What would your 3 pieces of wisdom be for the those left behind?

  1. ALWAYS be yourself. You are magical. And if people don’t like you for who you are, then they are probably not people you would even want in your life anyway. 
  2. Tell the people you love you love them. Give your mom a hug. Text someone just to say you were thinking of them. 
  3. Try not to compare yourself to other people. Everyone’s life is going to look different and that’s okay. Be grateful for what you have. And if you want more, work for it. Basically, thrive, win, do anything. And stay humble.

If you had a destination funeral where would it be?

My house upstate but it would have to be in the summertime. OR on a tropical beach somewhere where everyone can mourn me and have a self care weekend and let their tears combine with the ocean water while they frolic in the waves. 

Open casket wake? Burial? Cremation? 

I don’t want any of these things because I do not want to be dead and it is scary. But I guess I’d want to be cremated.

If cremation, where would you want your ashes spread?

At my house upstate there is a field that is right on the top of the mountain so I’d like my ashes scattered there. Also, I would like some of my ashes to be turned into a diamond that my grieving husband can wear around his neck every day because he loves me so much and wouldn't be able to live without a beautiful sparkling reminder of me close to his heart at all times. Love is the answer. 

Top 5 songs to play at your funeral?

  1. Dolphins, Tim Buckley
  2. The Greatest, Lana del Rey
  3. West Coast, Coconut Records
  4. Tonight I'll Be Staying Here With You, Bob Dylan
  5. Live Like You Were Dying, Tim McGraw

Those are all the sad ones that people can cry to and then here are the fun ones that will remind people of me:

  1. I Luv It, Jeezy
  2. Int'l Players Anthem (I Choose You), UGK
  3. We Made You, Eminem
  4. Rockstar, Nickelback
  5. Back to the Basics, Lana del Rey (unreleased)
  6. Tim McGraw, Taylor Swift

If you could live forever, would you want to?

No, I’d get too lonely. 

Where do you think you go once you die?

I don’t know but somewhere for sure. 

If there is a heaven who are 3 people you would like to hang out with?

  1. Everyone in my family
  2. Jesus 
  3. Johnny Cash so he could sing to me in that sexy voice

Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes

If reincarnation is real what do you want to come back as?

A blue whale

What are three words you hope people use to describe you when you are gone?

  1. Kind
  2. Happy
  3. Sparkly

Biggest regret in life?

No ragrets bro

Top 3 things that helped you through grief?

  1. Support from friends 
  2. Talking about what I’m feeling even if it makes no sense and I’m incoherently rambling/sobbing
  3. CRYING

Best advice someone gave to you on grief?

HOPE: Hold On Pain Ends. Corny but no feeling lasts forever, this too shall pass. 

If you were to give someone 1 piece of advice on grief what would it be?

Be gentle with yourself. There is no “right” way to grieve. It’s all okay- even when it’s not.