How old do you want to live to be?
Great question. I don’t think it has a number, but a set of experiences. I would love to see the things my son gravitates towards as an adult - what excites him about the world and what sorts of life experiences we can share together. I can see the way that I respond to the world changing as I age, but of course, nothing is promised.
Do you have a fantasy funeral?
I do! I would love a home vigil and I can picture it - dim lighting, natural essential oils burning (I love geranium oil) , a safe space for everyone to be with me. And I would love to be buried in a shroud surrounded by my favorite people and covered with loose wildflowers.
What scares you the most about dying?
Saying goodbye to my family, the ultimate fomo. Love is grief, grief is love. And of course, I am scared of enduring pain.
If you had a destination funeral where would it be?
Oh! Once I visited the Carrowkeel Megalithic Cemetery in County Sligo, Ireland. It’s a cluster of neolithic tombs built in the 4th Millennium BC. That might be a pretty epic place for a destination funeral. But also, I have visited the sacred Okunoin Cemetery in Koya, Japan in the thick of winter and had the most magical experience there.
Open casket wake? Burial? Cremation?
I prefer the idea of having people see me and spend time with my body, but really I think creating a safe space to allow people to navigate their own goodbye is important. Even though it is the end of my road, it’s an ongoing journey for everyone else I leave behind so I want to leave them in a graceful way.
If cremation, where would you want your ashes spread?
If I had to be cremated for whatever reason, I’d ask for my ashes to be made into some beautiful jewelry as well as spread in the ocean off the coast of Noosa, Queensland. It’s my favorite beach.
Top 5 songs to play at your funeral?
1) Sunny Road by Emiliana Torrini
2) Maps by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs
3) The Pool by River Whiles
4) Sea of love by Cat Power
5) Harvest Moon by Jeff Rosenstock and Laura Stevenson
If you could live forever, would you want to?
Absolutely not, I’m already quite tired. Hahahaha. It’s hard to see things fade, I think as much as it is hard to end anything beautiful, the end is equally so.
Where do you think you go once you die?
Wow, big question! I think you go to peace. I think you go back to the essential. Maybe it’s where nothingness and everything meet.
If there is a heaven who are 3 people you would like to hang out with?
My great grandmother. I think there’s lots of things about her life that are a mystery to me and I think it would be interesting to get an understanding of life back then with a connection to the now. If there’s a heaven, then it must be true that there’s a God. That sounds like a good pot of tea to share. I’d also just love to hug Robin Williams and I think we’d laugh and cry a lot.
Do you believe in ghosts?
I don’t really, at this stage. I want to though! I have asked some people to visit me and I’m yet to meet anyone that has crossed over. I’ll wait patiently!
If reincarnation is real what do you want to come back as?
Perhaps stereotypical, but I’d love to come back as a bird. It feels natural to me that I’d be able to fly and is so rude that I can’t.
What are three words you hope people use to describe you when you are gone?
Kind, gentle, and can I join two words and say “silly-billy?”
Biggest regret in life?
I wish I learned how to play a musical instrument early in life. I have tried at various points in my life to pick up instruments like the guitar, the banjo and even the piano, but nothing sticks well. I hope my son feels connected to himself through music one day.