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Home / Q&A / Q&A: Death and Dying in the Modern Age-Martin Hyers
Q&A: Death and Dying in the Modern Age-Martin Hyers

Q&A: Death and Dying in the Modern Age-Martin Hyers

Martin Hyers



How old do you want to live to be?

Do you have a fantasy funeral?
Yes. Big playlist, airline tickets for anyone who flies to the funeral would be paid by estate. More like a party or a lunch. No hour long service and everyone leaves.

What scares you the most about dying?
Being judged by Jesus.

What would your 3 pieces of wisdom be for the those left behind?
Work hard 

Never watch TV

Forgive yourself

If you had a destination funeral where would it be?
A family church in Charleston, SC

Where would you want your ashes spread?
At our spring in upstate NY

Top songs to play at your funeral?
Cat Power - You Are Free

Elton John - Daniel 

Nico - These Days

Open casket wake? Burial? Cremation?
No open casket. I want to be buried in a mushroom suit in my work pants and boots in a plywood coffin. (If I have some warning I will build it myself).

If you could live forever, would you want to?

Where do you think you go once you die?
You go to Heaven or Hell.

If there is a heaven who are 3 people you would like to hang out with there?
Jesus - my nanny who raised me - my brother who died at birth.

Do you believe in ghosts?

If reincarnation is real what do you want to come back as?
I don’t believe that reincarnation is real.

What are three words you hope people use to describe you when you are gone?



Biggest regret in life?
Being so slow to wake up

Top 3 things that helped you through grief?

Laughing with family about the person 

Objects and photographs 

Best advice someone gave to you about grief?
Be present

Did meditation, friends, food help you the most? 
Prayer helped the most.

How was navigating the funeral home system and what’s your advice? 
That system sucks. I didn’t have to deal with it thank goodness.

If you were to give someone 1 piece of advice on grief what would it be?
People have so many objects. Take the time to gather small things that are meaningful and keep them near you.